Marry Me
by Animorphia
Summary: It was too late for me when I got the invite. I knew I would lose as I predicted but why is my heart in pain? Hope you find this interesting to read and please leave a review if you like it!


**Author's note: Hello, everybody! It's been awhile, hasn't it? No worries, I'm here for you and cure your boredom! This one shot has been in my mind for too long and I was tempting to write it. So here it is, the complete piece of my thought. Hope you guys enjoy your new year and I will try to write as much as I can. Anyway, I appreciate for all the support you guys given me since I last wrote the 'Black and White' and I am sincerely grateful for those who like it! Please R &R~ Now without further ado, enjoy~ **

**Disclaimer: I don't own BLEACH!**

 **Song Tittle: Marry Me by THOMAS RHETT (Not by me, I ain't getting credit for it.)**

 **PS: I advise you listen to the song when you read this, it helps sets the mood. ;]**

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 ** _'She going to get married but she ain't gonna marry me'_**

She wants to get married, despite she had just turned six when I first met her at her birthday party. Her beloved grandfather preaching the service, magnolias served as decoration in her beautiful perfect wedding, not too many people, only those who are close to her invited. She had it all planned out and she wants to get married once she met the one. Her grand magnificent wedding will be held in the old detailed constructed chapel near our town. That's what she told me when we were young. I waved off her daydream, told her that it was pointless to think about it. She only pouted and said that I was too grumpy to understand. I didn't care too to myself she will forget it and rethink her dream once she was older. We were young then. Speaking about empty dreams are most kids fantasied, eventually it will all fade away after growing up into adulthood. Perhaps I was too young to think so mature thoughts, that's why I couldn't fit in with the rest of my peers and understand them. Unlike them I like to think three steps ahead for my future path.

A prodigy, the adults praised me. A freak, my peers labelled me with. A friend, she called me. Stay with me until the end and never left me alone, she promised. With our pinky finger locked together, we made the promise. An empty promise created with our childish mind of a ten year old. I could've rejected the idea, yet I made no move to break it. Her eyes shined with pure happiness, a toothy grin displayed on her face, her hands holding mine after we made the promise. I felt it was the first time I've butterflies in my stomach. My face flush red turned away from her prying gaze and avoid her teasing smile as she ruffled my hair affectionately. A rare smile hidden under my bangs when I teased her back with the nickname I had for her. We laughed and giggled whilst enjoyed our time with together in her backyard, chasing stars, making stories, imagining things that are out of our reach. We were in content of who we are. I knew. She wants to get married, but not anytime soon. Oddly, I hoped she chose me to be with deep inside my heart.

 _She wants to get married, she wants it perfect_

 _She wants her grandaddy preaching the service_

 _Yeah, she wants magnolias out in the country_

 _Not too many people, save her daddy some money_

 _Ooh, she got it all planned out_

 _Yeah, I can see it all right now_

 _I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back_

 _I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask_

 _I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees_

 _Yeah, she wanna get married_

 _But she don't wanna marry me_

It continued on until we were high school. Dating a few guys let her mature enough not to hope too much for that dream of hers. I advised her to forget about that silly fantasy of hers and focus on something else. But she didn't give up that dream of hers, she still believe and vowed to succeed. Wanting an unbreakable and solid matrimony like her parents. I told her, she was gullible and naive to expect much. Though I didn't stop her entirely and I tried not to worry over the fantasy she dreamt. Hoping it will fade away as we grow. Unexpectedly for me, I discovered my true feelings for her that was overwhelming when I almost kiss her that night. It was a celebration party for the win of our school soccer team, I was with her. Few drinks of alcohol in my system before I saw her in my eyes, that beautiful girl that held my heart so effortlessly. Half of her body lay on me, her arms on my shoulder, her face on my neck, her breath tickling my collarbone sending countless shivers to my spine. Dimly lit lights poured around the party, our friends never pay attention to us as they drink and dance to the blasted music coming from the huge speakers. Looking so alluring and seductive, she puckered her lips together. Millions of despicable scenarios swirled in my mind, wanting to imprison her as my captive, not willing to let go. She inched closer hovering her lips over mine, our distance in a breath away. I was broken out of my trance when I noticed our closeness of lips and pulled away from her quickly, the alcohol wasn't helping me think straight.

Once I was sober enough to drive, I took her home before we advance any further and regret it. She didn't remember much what happen that night and I shrugged it off saying that nothing eventful happen at the party. We've been friends in forever and I don't want to ruin what we have, so I suppress my feelings into the depths of my heart. Lock it up and never show. The mask was then created. I always wondered if she felt the same way. However, I can only wish for her happiness when I got the invitation. I knew it was too late for me, the card carved her name and her lover. Friends and family cheers for the happy couple, genuine smiles and warm grins formed on their faces. Greeting them with blessings. A forced smile displayed on my face, trying hard not to let myself collapse when she stood before me. She didn't notice my mask, but I noticed the endearment reserved for him. Her arm looped around the special someone she always longed and come to love. She's going to get married, it isn't me she with.

 _I remember the night when I almost kissed her_

 _Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever_

 _And I always wondered if she felt the same way_

 _When I got the invite, I knew it was too late_

 _And I know her daddy's been dreading this day_

 _Oh, but he don't know he ain't the only one giving her away_

That day came in a blink. Her father was fearing this day to give her away, his one and only loving daughter, her mother was in tears and consoled her father to let her go for her happiness. They blessed them with all their heart and she embraced them with tears in her eyes. It was hard, but her father knew he had to let go of her hand. Little did know that he wasn't the only one who felt the same way. My soul yearned for her, longed for her warmth, craved for her attention. Unfortunately, half of my soul was already given to her. My crisp clean black suit and black tie neatly wore at the occasion, the mask on my face was instantly placed firm, my usually untamed hair kept clean for her, she pointed out the other day before the wedding, so that I looked representable. I stepped into the room with calm steady breath, face neutral and compose for the grand flourish celebration. It took my breath away when she welcomed the guests with her brilliant smile. I can try to get it off my chest now but I don't want to mess it up, so I wish her the best along with her love.

Declined her offer to be her bridegroom and suggested it to someone else within our circle of friends. She didn't mind my refusal, instead she joked it off that I was nervous and scared to be beside her in case I broke into tears. I let out a strained chuckle, brushing off the thought as if she knows the main reason of my withdrawal. Our close friend accepted her offer without delay and was honoured to fill the role for me. Relived from the heavy burden, I chose to stay in the sidelines to stabilise my whirlwind of emotions. I created a safe distance between us, in order to stop my innermost want to tell her my thoughts. I sincerely wish for her happiness, I don't want to damage it. I don't want to ruin her. I don't want her to be guilty over my feelings that I kept hidden inside. I'm one with silence, I rewind the words to soothe the pain when the door opened to reveal the beauty appeared in front of my eyes. Hiding behind the crowd, my eyes strained on her angelic figure as soon as she walked on the red carpet, never blinking, never leaving. I remember her lovely face with the makeup adding more beauty on her, wearing that white wedding dress that reflected her pureness of her soul, the dress with detailed features to compliment her body. She was stunning and ever so captivating. Her dream she hoped for. I can see it right now. I'm proud she achieved what she desired. She was soon to be married, the groom isn't me. How I wish it is.

 _I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back_

 _I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask_

 _I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees_

 _Yeah, she wanna get married_

 _But she don't wanna marry me_

 _Ooohhh_

 _Yeah, she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now_

 _I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now_

 _But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now_

The ceremony was over and I practically made it through without crying. Struggling to stay strong until the end, knowing that if I crumble down the whole world will turn to me. One last look hug from her, I departed early from the reception, not wanting to stay longer with our friends who knew little about me as they talked about her. Masking the pain howls inside of me with my usual face at front. Deceiving the people around me, assuring Her I was truly happy for them. Trying to escape with the lump in my throat, eyes reddened and limbs heavy. I made it out of the suffocating place and went to released my the pent up frustration. Strong shot of whiskey entering my body, I desperately washed my misery out of my system. A part of me want to forget, then a part me want otherwise. Pieces of my heart shattered like glass, tearing me apart, waging war against my inner self. Our promise forgotten and fade away from her mind, but linger and lay unforgotten in mine. Ironically, she was the one who pledged to bear in mind no matter how strained our relationship are, and now she was the one who neglect that promise.

I sneered at the thought of how humans tend to easily overlook the things they strongly promised to. I predicted as much, that's why I wasn't surprise. What I'm surprise of is myself. The one who simply chose to ignore the promise from the very start, became the one who hold onto it till the end. Straight out the flask I drank throughout the night, drowning me out of the harsh moment of reality. The memory of our last conversation came to my vision. Dream came true, huh? I asked her when I visited her in the bride's room before the start of the ceremony. She nodded and beamed proudly at her accomplishment, telling me how wrong I am to degrade her dream that she comes to finalised eventually. I admitted my wrong, confessed that she did great to prove herself and gave her a genuine smile. A kiss on her forehead before I waved back to her and left the room, with the wounds on my heart bleed furiously. I failed to win over the dream of hers when we first made the bet, we were twenty then. She won, I lose, six years later on this fateful day. At the same moment, I lost her along what was left of my soul, leaving a void forever unfilled. Tears of misfortune indicate the chance I miss with her. Once missed, it will no longer appear, I learned it through the sorrows that was experienced. Even if bottles of whiskey was consumed inside me, memory of her still flashed in my unorganised blurred mind. Their hands interwoven together, golden bands shined on their ring finger, their smiling faces represent their ever flowing love. She's married, but it wasn't me she chose to married.

 _So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back_

 _Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask_

 _I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees_

 _Yeah, she wanna get married_

 _Yeah, she gonna get married_

 _But she ain't gonna marry me_

 _Whoa, she ain't gonna marry me, no_

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 **Hope you like this one shot or songfic if you like to call it, I look forward on your opinion on this.**


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